The Coaching Rules I Happily Ignore

Here's what it's like to be coached by me.

There are a lot of unspoken rules in the coaching world.

How to sound. How to sell. How to support people without getting "too close."

Some of those rules? Valid.

A lot of them? Performative nonsense that doesn't actually help the humans I work with.

So, here are the five "rules" I break, intentionally, because my people need something realer.

Rule #1: Always keep it positive.

I believe in hope, but not toxic positivity.

If you're falling apart from the inside out, I'm not going to respond with a Pinterest quote and a forced smile.

Sometimes we start with, "This is a shit show."

And then we give that shit show language. Context. Permission.

Because you can't design a better future while gaslighting yourself about the present. So, I create space for your whole emotional reality, not just the palatable parts.

Rule #2: Push your client out of their comfort zone.

This assumes that discomfort = growth all the time.

But, if you're burned out, your whole life has already been outside your comfort zone for years. You've been pushing. Stretching. Going past your limits.

What you often need isn't more challenge... it's more clarity. More calm. More grounded decision-making from a safe place.

We rebuild your capacity before we pile on on these shiny new goals.

Rule #3: Never give advice, just ask better questions.

Coaches are taught to be purely reflective. And yes, powerful questions are part of the work.

But sometimes you need a sounding board who actually gets the system you're in. Someone who can offer language, give context, and connect the dots when you can't see them through the fog.

I bring 17 years of experience into every session. If I've got a resource, a framework, or a story that could help you? I'm going to share it.

You're not paying me to nod. You're paying me to help you move.

Rule #4: Focus on the client's next level.

I'm not interested in helping you climb a ladder that's leaning against the wrong wall.

A lot of the folks I work with don't need help with ambition. They need help redefining success on their terms, not the ones they inherited from hustle culture, toxic bosses, or well-meaning mentors.

In a world that praises hustle and acceleration, I coach for sustainability.

That means we might slow down. We might pause to re-evaluate. We might spend a whole session pulling apart a belief you've held for 20 years that's no longer serving you.

Because if the goal is to build a career and life that doesn't break you, then speed can't be the only metric of success.

Rule #5: Sell the dream transformation.

Most coaching marketing goes like this:

But that's not what I'm selling and I don't do "transformation porn."

I won't promise you a six-figure glow-up or a magical moment where everything clicks and you're suddenly cured of burnout. (Let's be real, if I could promise you that, I'd be doing that for myself...)

Instead, I can promise you the unsexy work... boundaries, belief shifts, nervous system resets, and realignment.

I don't coach for optics. I coach for internal safety and sustainable leadership.

That's what creates real change.

So, if any of this sounds like the kind of coaching you've been looking for, let's talk. No pressure. No sales pitch. Just a conversation about where you are, and what support could look like.

It's okay if you don't know exactly what you need right now. That's part of the work. But if your gut's nudging you, trust that.

-Tara

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P.S. Already got a therapist? Amazing. My work pairs beautifully with therapy when you're ready to take that awareness and turn it into practical, aligned action.

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